The Bottom Line: If you’re just looking for some “friends with benefits” type action, there’s no downside to some casual sex, though you do need to consider the potential risks of STDs. If you’re contemplating a long-term hookup, avoid casual sex if you’re at high risk for an STI. On the other hand, if you can’t have sex with your friends, or if you’re concerned about the long-term effects of casual sex on your relationship, there may be other ways you can connect with your sexual side.
The responses of the person you’re with don’t have to be the same, though. In a study published by the World Health Organization in 2011, Swedish researchers found that having casual sex actually degrades your relationship with that partner in a couple of ways. First, casual sex makes you feel that your partner is “less committed, less committed to you, less happy, less satisfied with their life, less attractive, less caring,” and that it “diminishes the amount of emotional closeness in the relationship.” The findings can translate to casual hookups, too, since no one’s relationship is ever going to be perfect in the beginning. The key is learning to live with differences and some short-lived awkwardness for the greater joy of getting your heart broken.
Risk of STDs The stigma surrounding casual sex, coupled with inconsistent condom use, makes it hard to know what the real risks are — not just for your partners, but for you, too. Studies have shown that risky hookups have an increased risk of infection with all sorts of STDs. This can have serious consequences long term, including more reproductive problems, like impotence, unwanted pregnancies, or a lack of sex drive. And women are twice as likely to become infected with some forms of cancer and certain strains of HIV.
Love it or hate it, casual sex isn’t going anywhere. Sure, if you turn the conversation to the fact that there aren’t any caps on anonymous hookup services, people might take more of a warning than they otherwise would. But for every person out there who’s disappointed that he or she “didn’t get laid last night,” there are at least just as many who celebrate a good night at the local bar. So how do you know if you’re in a casual relationship with someone you
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